How Do I (Really) Forgive Myself? Blog Post

Daphne Delay A Self to Live With 2 Comments

When I give you the answer to this question, don’t stop reading.

HOW DO I FORGIVE MYSELF, you ask? The answer is: simply by faith.

I know that’s not what you’re looking for. You want the 1,2,3 steps of punishment and/or discipline. Well, I’m here to tell you the Bible doesn’t lay it out that way. Religion, the devil, and your own guilt have made you struggle with forgiveness.

I’m not saying it is easy to forgive yourself. But easy and simple are two different things.

It’s not easy because we literally HATE our actions and greatly wish we could take them back or reverse them. And depending on how long you’ve been holding yourself in unforgiveness, there may be a lot of unwrapping to do before you find freedom.

But forgiveness by faith is simple because it’s an act of your will.

Let me put it to you this way: If you were imprisoned and I gave you the key, it might not be easy to let yourself out of a prison you think you deserve, but it would be simple to put the key in the lock and open the door.

Jesus said, “And whenever you stand praying, if you have ought against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses” (Mark 11:25). Here’s some things you need to understand about this scripture:

1. Ought means “any little thing”

It doesn’t matter what it is, if you have ought in your heart (or we could say unforgiveness), God wants you to forgive it and trust Him.

2. Anyone includes YOU

Jesus said, “…if you have ought against anyone, forgive…” Anyone would include the person looking back at you in your mirror everyday (unless you’ve gotten to the point where you never look in a mirror). But nonetheless, Jesus has asked us to forgive that person–whoever they are.

3. You tie God’s hands when don’t forgive

It’s not that God doesn’t want to forgive you–it’s just that you’ve put the power in your hands and tied His when you won’t forgive. Everything your heart cries out for God to do in your life is limited because you won’t forgive yourself. And this would include knowing His peace, His love, and His joy.

So here’s what you do: Grit your teeth and do it by faith.

In other words, don’t rely on your emotions to help you one way or the other. It’s not based on how you feel. In fact, I can almost guarantee, YOU WON’T FEEL LIKE DOING IT. But do it anyway! I like to say it like this: “As an act of my will, I choose to obey God’s Word.” You know the cliche “Father Knows Best”? That would apply here too. God knows best. When His Word says He has forgiven you of your sins, you need to trust Him, accept the forgiveness, and forgive yourself also.

God has loved you with an everlasting love. He said, “This is the covenant that I will make with them, says the Lord: I will put My laws into their hearts, and in their minds I will write them, then He adds, Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more” (Hebrews 10:16-17). This is just one of countless scriptures that speak of God’s forgiveness of our sins.

Isn’t it time you accepted it for yourself? 


For more help, get this free eBook, How Do I (Really) Forgive Myself? 
Learn more in Daphne’s book, Facing the Mirror: Finding a Self to Live With 
  • yaderbalt .

    Thank you for your post. God bless pastor Todd and your work in God.

    • You’re welcome. It’s a blessing that technology can reach around the world no matter where you are. Never forget who you are in Christ!