When I think back to my teenage years, I cringe a little at how silly my problems felt at the time. But sadly, because I wasn’t saved and didn’t have an identity in Christ, teenage crisis made a big impact on my life.

Fast forward, and not only did I find Jesus in my twenties, but I’ve now raised my own daughter.

I tried to model for her a life in love with Jesus but she also saw my imperfections up close and personal. I wasn’t afraid of being transparent. My only wish was for her to not struggle with her identity as I did.

So when my daughter was 16 and shared these thoughts on social media, I couldn’t stop smiling:

so the other day I was listening to “Just the way you are” by Bruno Mars (serious throwback I know) and there’s a part in the chorus where he sings “when I see your face, there’s not a thing that I would change cause you’re amazing just the way you are.” and I couldn’t help but think “dang I wish I had a guy who thought that about me.” but then I read in Song of Solomon in chapter 4 and it says “Behold you are beautiful, my love, you are beautiful! You are altogether beautiful; there is no flaw in you.” and it hit me! The way I wanted a guy to feel towards me, God already does! He thinks I’m beautiful and he is pursuing me everyday! I know sometimes we feel like the only way to feel fully cherished and beautiful is by a man but right there it talks about how God thinks you are flawless! you don’t have to have a man tell you you’re beautiful, because God created you flawlessly and he literally thinks you are “amazing just the way you are.” you don’t have to be perfect for anyone and especially not God; you just have to be you. God’s gonna bring you that “one guy” but in the meantime let Him show you how beautiful HE sees you.

Besides being so grateful that she came to this revelation on her own (with the help of the Holy Spirit), I also had this thought: This might also be the result of a mama who found out who she was first.

How can we expect our children to walk in Truth if we don’t?

Paul said it best: “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth” (3 John 1:4). Paul was speaking of his spiritual children, but he could make this statement because he walked in truth. In other words, because he had discovered his true identity and life in Christ, then he experienced real joy when others found the same truth he discovered.

I meet mamas all the time who struggle with their identity–mostly for the same reasons I did: too much past without an identity in Christ.

The guilt, pain, and regrets build a mold around us that’s sometimes hard to break free from as an adult… until you LEARN THE TRUTH about God’s amazing grace and forgiveness and healing for yourself. My point is this:

You need to know WHO YOU ARE so your children will KNOW WHO THEY ARE.

Is there any greater joy than to see your children walking in the truth? I don’t think so!

Do it for your kids. It’s never too late. Even if they’re already adults, they’ll witness your example. And future generations can be impacted too. When we accept God’s love for ourselves, it’s easier to share and show the love of God to those closest to us.

This is my prayer for you.