Victor Hugo said, “You can give without loving, but you can never LOVE without giving.”
Isn’t this so true? Giving can come in all forms: out of obligation, required (like a staff party), out of guilt, etc., so love isn’t always the motivator to giving (in other words, you can give without loving). But… you can never LOVE without giving. God Himself gave us this example: “For God SO LOVED the world that He GAVE…” (John 3:16).
Proof of love is in action, not just words.
But there is a hitch. For every giver, there must be a receiver on the other end. And for some people, this isn’t a problem– meaning they have no problem being on the receiving end of anything. And then there’s people (like myself) who wrestle with receiving gifts or help from others. It’s a form of rejection– not only are they rejecting the giver but they are disqualifying themselves as worthy of the gift being given.
I can’t help but think about God. His heart must be saddened by the countless number of rejections He’s had. In one of the parables, Jesus spoke of a great feast God prepared for His guests, but people made excuses and didn’t show up. They didn’t have a problem receiving, they simply had a problem with gratitude.
But then there are those who feel unworthy. They accept God’s invitation of salvation but wrestle greatly with the extravagance of His generosity!
THAT WAS ME.
I was so bad at receiving from others, a friend had to finally tell me, “Don’t rob me of a blessing!” before I realized what I was doing.
I knew I needed a Savior, but only on conditions I could come to terms with. I wanted to receive the minimum to “get in” (enough to get me saved) but then wrestled with accepting anything more than that (complete forgiveness) because I didn’t feel deserving.
Learn to receive.
Joyce Meyer put it this way: “We tend to have a mentality of getting things, not receiving them. To get means to obtain by struggle and effort. If everything in life is a struggle and effort, you won’t enjoy much of it and you’ll be frustrated a lot. Getting things puts the burden on us because we have to figure out how to manipulate circumstances to make them work out the way we want them to. But the Bible talks about receiving, not getting. We receive by faith, not through works. This is difficult for most people because we’re taught in the world that we have to earn what we get. But God is not for sale. We can’t buy, earn or deserve Him. His gifts (forgiveness, mercy, grace, favor, salvation) are free. And we could never do enough to earn them or deserve them. Jesus paid the price that we could never pay to provide these gifts for us. We simply have to receive them!”
She’s so right. And once I understood this principle, I purposed to become a receiver. It hurt my heart to think I was rejecting God (even unintentionally). After all He had done for me, I couldn’t continue rejecting Him simply because I didn’t know how to receive. I had to learn.
The Bible says, “But the free gift is not like the offense. For if by the one man’s offense many died, much more the grace of God and the GIFT by the grace of the one Man, Jesus Christ, abounded to many. And the GIFT is not like that which came through the one who sinned. For the judgment which came from one offense resulted in condemnation, but the FREE GIFT which came from many offenses resulted in justification. For if by the one man’s offense death reigned through the one, much more those who receive abundance of grace and of the GIFT OF RIGHTEOUSNESS will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ” (Romans 5:15-17).
I don’t know if you’ve ever thought about this but there is ONE thing sin and righteousness have in common– they both “abounded to many.” Obviously they are two very different things on two different spectrums. Sin produces condemnation (judgment, disapproval, criticism, dishonor, disgrace, and contempt), whereas God’s free gift is justification (approval, blessing, esteem, acceptance, regard, respect, and FAVOR).
Think about favor for a moment. It can have many definitions and applications. One use describes favor as a token or gift given to attendees at a party. In other words, the people NOT being celebrated are the ones who receive a “favor” gift.
This is a great spiritual parallel.
Paul said, “[God’s] favor is with everyone who has an undying love for our Lord Jesus Christ” (Ephesians 6:24). When we think about it, it’s hard to receive such grace and favor, especially in the form of a gift. But just like the angel told Mary: “Don’t be afraid… you’ve found favor with God” (Luke 1:30)— so have we.
Deserving or not, Jesus “qualified us…” (Colossians 1:12). And that’s what we wrestle with– the “qualifying” part. We know we don’t qualify on our own. This is why some people are okay with winning a prize by luck but not okay with a random gift of kindness.
The bottom line is you and I could never earn God’s favor. He offers it as a gift. And He calls it righteousness. Our part is to learn to receive it.
